Welcome back to another riveting season of Zan football. after a long hiatus, it is I, Troop Crossland, who after completing his obligatory punishment from two years ago, that will be busting out your power rankings every week. I will be providing unbiased and relevant news to your teams and keeping you up to date with cutting edge pick ups trade and injuries. without further ado let us dive right into these rankings and address the dogshit teams you all own
1.She Swift on it when i Kamara
Despite losing his week one there is a lot to be excited for about this team. obviously the loss was a fluke i mean just look at the fat stacks in this team. kamara lookin like his old sweet self when he won this coach his championship against that dogshit ThankyouJetlag. a loss was to be expected when adjusting to a new team but don’t expect many recurrences for losing from this team.
2. She Saquon it til it Hurts
I mean… have you seen the lineup on this team? absolutely wrecked greg’s team and he scored the second highest points. there’s a lot to be fearful from this team but seems kinda flukes given your defense scoring an extreme amount of points. we will see if they can keep the momentum coming and push that into a week two starting tonight against the formidable She Swift on it when i Kamara.
3. Napkins
A lot of weapons in this team has Manager Brindley tries to expand his arsenal by stealing players from unsuspecting coaches. be wary of any trade this manager sends you as he will almost certainly not be sending it unless he absolutely trade fucks the shut out of you.
4.Daddy
yeah i know i know, why are you getting ranked lower than the team you beat this week and its the only historical and statistical weekly evidence that we have to base these rankings on? i’ll tell you why. its because i make the rules in these power rankings. me. not you. me. you picked josh allen when you could’ve had cmc. i mean wtf were you smoking in that smooth peanut shaped brain of yours. your teams nice though, i need you.
5. Napkins
wtf is up with you guys naming your team napkins. what is napkins? what are you saying? explain it to me and i will rewrite your power ranking. nice team though.
6.Team Sneed
basic name basic team except cooper kupp. will be mr irrelevant when Pacua returns.
7.Kissin Cousins
Ranked 7 in espn but number one in our hearts. this team has stolen our love and looks to make a great come up in this years fantasy. he somehow gets tyreek hill every single year because everyone else is retarded somehow and lets it slip to him. i don’t really see anyone else worth a damn though. maybe deebo. you can do this lucas don’t let your shitty team dissuade you from glory
8. Mahamas
meh you got saved by your kicker. you should be lower.
9. Ra Dogs
meh you got saved by your kicker and your defense. you should be even lower.
10. Below Boys
HAHAHAH bro pulled a joe biden when drafting his team
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